what’s it like?

Hi Caitlyn

Originally uploaded by legos+dream

posted by : legosdream

It’s like…
…getting this new toy that you can’t wait to play with the minute you wake up and you simply can’t stop night or day…and things, chores you have to do just takes precious time away from being with it.

It’s like…
…that line in Spanglish “Looking at you doesn’t do it, staring is the only way that makes sense”.

It’s like…
…everything everyone “warned” but nothing like everything you expected; it’s above and beyond all you could ask or imagine.

It’s like…
…like cries to our ears but music to our hearts.

It’s like…
…the stinky that you shouldn’t but savor while inhaling.

It’s like…
…getting to know the person you didn’t know you always knew.

It’s like…
…watching hours of endless nothing somethings that tug at your heart wanting more.

It’s like…
…a drug, an addiction.

It’s like…
…a love that you never thought you’re capable; helping you realize + receive a love you never thought available.

It’s awesome.

diaper eager

posted by : legosdream

Out of the blue today, I had a feeling.

Not in an overwhelming, over-the-top sort of way.

Kinda like just a tenderly-anxious-excited-new-experience-sort of way.

I want to change diapers.

Dirty, poopy, smelly diapers.

With a capital D.

Not that it’s a brand new experience.

I have done that with the Burk god-kids.

But this is kinda different.

I just have a urge, a desire, a longing.

To wipe butts, change diapers.

Doing it with a motivation that I haven’t particularly felt before.

I suppose it’s this genetic predisposition.

To care.

Give care.

Regardless of the mess.

Transcending boundaries.

Of stench.

Of crap.

Of repetition.

It’s the love of a parent.

Being a parent.

Rescuing the child from the mess it created.

Cleaning it up.

Making things smell nice and good.

So that he or she can do it all over again.

And then you too.

What a mystery.

To love.

And be loved.

already.

posted by : legosdream

Are you ready?

For next March?

That’s when baby arrives.

That’s what everyone’s asking.

Will I be ready.

Ready for the arrival.

Ready to be a father, daddy, 爸爸。

So my ready-made, generic answer’s been, “I guess I’ll be”.

Or “I’ll have to be”.

So this weekend at church I got a “bevy” of the same.

“You ready?”

“You going to be a father…”

Et cetera.

As I began to deliver more of the same, I felt an epiphanic answer come on.

I AM already.

A father.

A daddy.

A 爸爸。

At inception.

How apt, in these times of debates, conventions and election.

I am, not because I am ready.

Ready physically.

Ready emotionally.

Ready spiritually.

All that will be a life long journey.

I am, not because I am ready.

I am.

Because I’m already.

好!

oly18

Originally uploaded by delephant.blogspot.com

posted by : legosdream

That’s what 爸爸 would say.

With gusto.

And enthusiastic claps.

He’d be so proud.

So happy.

好! Good!

I know he looks down and sees it.

Though it be nice to share that moment in the flesh.

Share that with our family.

The grain of pride in heritage and tradition runs deep in ours.

Ingrained.

大白兔奶糖 (White Rabbit Candy)

人和鞋 (Ren Ho Shoes)

梅林洋梅 (Ma Ling Arbutus)

And many more.

Our Chinese staple make-up.

I admit I resented it when I was a kid.

Growing up Chinese in our family was a little too Chinese for me.

Then.

Cultural educations at the National Theatre.

Circus troupes, operas from the Mainland.

Entertainment and historic movies at the Golden Mile Cinema.

And the joy on his face when the Chinese won the Thomas Cup Badminton Championship years ago.

He hugged and threw me in the air.

That threw me for a loop.

Then.

All things Chinese, our parents made us.

爸爸 especially.

He loved China.

His motherland.

He missed China.

He shared that passion with us.

With me.

Being Chinese-漢.

Being Proud﹣威.

Tonight he is proud too, looking down.

The ceremony wowed us.

Pyrotechnics.

Technology.

Choreography.

Everything.

Everyone.

A celebration.

Unifying all the identity “deposited” in me all these years.

Resonating 好!

Very 好!

China.

At the end, it will be too.

God bless China 好!好!